If only...

I was seventeen when I fell in love. I didn't know I was at that time, I didn't understand it. The only thing I knew was that she was perfect. Her skin, her body, her face, her hair kept me up at night. My feelings for her grew stronger when I heard her speak, she was confident and assertive. It was beautiful.

As days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, my feelings for her became overwhelming. I felt uncomfortable whenever she touched me. On one occasion, I ran out in the middle of the night without telling anyone because I found out she was stranded. I ran a distance then realized that I didn't even know where she was or how to reach her. I shouldn't have acted on impulse, I should have thought things through but I just kept running. I kept running and searching till I found her. I was panting so much when I got to her, I couldn't even speak properly. I must have looked like a complete idiot but that didn't matter when she smiled at me. The director of my center/dorm gave me an ultimatum when I got back. She said I wouldn't be allowed to stay at the dorm if I ran out like that again but I didn't care, I'll do it again in a heart beat.

I wanted to tell her how I felt but I couldn't. I wanted to pour out my heart but I couldn't. I wanted to go on a long night drive with her and kiss her by midnight but I couldn't. I couldn't because she was straight. I fell in love for the first time but I set my heart out to get hurt.